You guys really do know how Zelena got Killian to how he’s behaving right now, right? What she’s doing in regards to him & our couple? How did she managed to pull this one off? Well, sadly, she’s just using what’s already there. Stay w/me on this one. Also, asking now on the chance you might feel like it by the end of it due to what it might cause you to feel:
there needs to be an AU where Killian, Eric, and Phillip are all priests please and thank you
Don’t you just cry knowing that Killian went from
- it was just a kiss (one who shattered him)
-it’s a failed kiss (that he thought was true love kiss)
to finish with
-it’s a toxic kiss (kissing her would take away her magic and destroy her)
But no, can we talk about how heartbreaking this scene ACTUALLY is? Ok.
Killian witnesses Emma perform magic, something he just early told her to embrace, he is watching her perform it right in front of him. She’s so amazing to him. He loves everything about her. If this was any other situation he would be over joyed and happy to see her do it, but right now it just hurts.
Look at Emma. Look at her spin and look at him, with such surprise. He brought two people, who love each other so much, back together. He did that. He, once again, did something he did not have to do. To her at least…
Now look at Killian. He knows what is happening. It’s all false. It’s not true. He has tried so hard to get Emma to see him for the man he is, a man of code, a man of honor, and man who would do anything for her. And now he is witnessing her finally opening up, finally starting to see it, and she is thinking he did something and it’s not true. His heart is breaking. Why now? Why must all this be happening now? Everything he ever wanted to was to be that man, the one who was different, who never lied, who won her for who he is not who she thought he was. And here she is thinking he helped Ariel, when really he hates himself beyond belief for what he did to them. It’s killing him.
That face is a face of a man who think’s he no longer deserves this amazing woman. When she asks him if he did it, all he can do is try to tell the truth and say “No.” but of course Emma pulls the modesty card, and it just hurts him. Because he’s not being modest, he’s telling her the truth. He didn’t do this, Ariel did it on her own.
"When I win your heart, Emma, and I will win it… It will not be because of any trickery."
After everything, he is still trying to be as honest and honorable as he can for her. Because he is so in love with her. And on top of ALL of this, he is now in a situation where either Zelena starts going after her family… or HE is the one to take her powers. Even if she agrees to it, for the safety of her family, HE is the one who has the curse, he is the one who has to kiss her and take everything that makes her the savior away. And he knows he could never forgive himself for that.
My heart breaks for Killian so much right now, but this is such a major step in the right direction for his character. He tried so hard to go back to the old him, so hard that he did things he regrets more than anything, but the fact of the matter is in the end, it wasn’t him. He changed. And he tried so hard to take it back, to make it up to Ariel, when in return all he got was a curse and a broken heart…
He is shedding his old skin, and it hurts, but it’s worth it. And soon he will get everything he’s been trying so hard to get, be who he has been trying so hard to be, and it will be such a beautiful moment for him. Because not only will he win Emma’s heart, but he will believe in himself again.
*knock* *knock* *knockknock* *knock*
Emma: Do you want to share some kisses?
Emma: Come on, let’s go have sex!
Emma: I never see you anymore
Emma: Come out the door
Emma: It’s like you’ve gone away!
Emma: You used to say you loved me
Emma: And now you don’t
Emma: I wish you would tell me why!
Emma: Do you want to share some kisses?
Emma: *whispers* It doesn’t have to be just kisses
Killian: Go away, Emma!
Emma: Okay, bye.
Post-Jolly Roger angst, because I can.
"I know what you mean."
The second he started to walk away, she knew something was wrong. Something was off.
She had never seen him look at her like that. Something was missing from his eyes…hope. It was completely unnerving.
"I know what you mean."
He turned and walked away from her. If he stayed there a moment longer, he wouldn’t make it. It was too painful to be near her, when he knew that any chance he had with her was now gone, forever. The weight of the world was resting on his shoulders.
There was no hope.
When she returned to her room at Granny’s that night with Henry, she noticed the light creeping out from under his doorway across the hall.
She sent Henry to bed, and once he was asleep, she snuck out into the hall.
She walked over towards his door, and knocked lightly.
Still nothing. Maybe he’d fallen asleep. His door was locked, though. Emma, being one to know how to break into places of all sorts, picked the lock and slowly nudged her way in. She was not prepared for what she saw when she stepped inside.
A.N: I’m still hurting guys. spoilers for The Jolly Roger.
Summary: Hook’s been keeping his distance and Emma has noticed.
"All right, enough,” she says, “What’s going on?”
Killian stops dead in his tracks, feels himself stiffen at Emma’s words. At his reaction, he curses himself under his breath. If she hadn’t been sure before, Emma definitely knows now that something is up.
Still he lets a grin tilt the corners of his mouth as he spins to face her.
"What do you mean?" Hook asks, as if nothing is wrong.
Emma’s eyes narrow and she moves forward, not the first time lately that she has been the one to step into his space, instead of the other way around. Hook’s jaw clenches, and as wrong as it feels to do, he gulps down a thick swallow and takes a step back. He has to be careful, has to make sure that he doesn’t meet her eyes or breath her in, fall as easily as he does.
He can’t hurt her, can’t be selfish, can’t get close no matter how much it is all he wants. It will ruin her. He will ruin her. He will take her magic away and then there will be nothing standing in the witches way of killing her. And Hook would rather die a thousand times over than let anything happen to Emma.
“That.” Emma says, gesturing at the space between them, trying with all her might to look him dead in the eyes but Hook wont even glance in her direction. So as if to make her point, she steps forward again and Hook unfalteringly retreats for a second time.
"That is what I mean. What the hell Hook?"
He laughs lightly, tries his best to play it off. Hook is just about to deny that anything is off but then he makes the mistake of looking at her and he can’t. He can see the fear in her eyes, the hurt that she’s hiding behind the accusation and he wants so badly to take her in his arms and apologize for not being around like he should. But he can’t do that either.
"You keep… I don’t know," Emma starts when he doesn’t say anything. And she looks uncomfortable, like she doesn’t know how to say what she’s trying to, " You’ve been distancing yourself from… from all of us. We’ve all noticed it."
And Killian might not have the same super power as Emma does but he can still tell that she’s lying. No one else has confronted him about it.
"What’s wrong?" she asks again. And it’s quiet, much more open and vulnerable than he’s ever seen her, and Hook clenches his eyes closed for a second, shuts them to gather up enough strength to do what he has to.
Because he’s noticed.
He’s seen how much she’s been looking in his direction, witnessed her smiling at him easily and freely, and he knows— finally, finally knows— that his feelings aren’t one-sided. And it must be his cross to bear for the way he’s lived so much of his wretched life, or maybe it really is just plain sour luck, that Emma now seems as if she is ready to give her heart and he can no longer be the one to hold it.
He is cursed. cursed. And he loves her, god, he loves her so much. But he can’t lose her. He’s lost everyone. He’s lost Liam and Milah and Bae— twice— and he can’t, will not be the reason that something bad happens to her.
He will never be the reason that she’s taken away too. He would rather have her hate him, if loving him will be her demise.
"I’m not distancing myself from everyone," And he says it as unaffected and as uncaring as he can. He looks at her like she’s nothing, like he’d looked at every woman his crew had thrown at him in the year she was gone. And he wants to die. Wishes he’d died 300 years ago, or in Neverland. Anywhere. Wishes he didn’t have to do this. To hurt her to keep from destroying her. “Just you Swan.”
"What?" she asks, confusion settling in the crinkles of her brows. And he laughs, mockingly, harshly at her expense. Forcing the sound out grates his throat. Everything hurts.
"Did you expect something else?" he asks simply and for a moment she seems to be too shocked to respond.
And then the tension rises in her shoulders and he watches as the light behind her eyes goes out.
"No," she answers, hard and unfeeling, and he thinks that maybe he can see her walls rebuilding before his very eyes. He hates himself but he loves her, loves her, loves—
"I didn’t expect anything."
When she walks away, he crumbles.